Chocolate
by SAL-Chan
Summary: [RemusSirius] Prompt: Valentines Day. In First year, while Sirius and James received roses and chocolates by the bushel Even Peter got chocolates first year! From at least two girls, Remus didn't receive any....Kiss:fluff:yumm...


In First year, while Sirius and James received roses and chocolates by the bushel (Even Peter got chocolates first year, from at least two girls), Remus didn't receive any.

The pity, for Remus loved chocolate more then anything else, and not receiving any had dampened his mood and gave him scars on his back from that month's change.

Second year, Remus received two chocolates - one from Frank Longbottom as a joke, and one from Lily Evans, who felt really bad for him and gave him one of her own chocolates.

Remus remembers almost crying after that - that was the first time he had received pity chocolate. There was nothing more hurtful then pity chocolate, and nothing tasted quite as bitter.

Third year Remus bought himself chocolate - because he thought that he might as well get good chocolate bought by himself instead of pity chocolate - and instead received a flower and 3 chocolates, all from girls in his classes, who blushed and asked him to be their valentine.

Remus had declined, giving each of them a kiss on the cheek or hand, saying that he was waiting for someone else. That night, while Sirius and he were counting and marking down Sirius chocolates, Remus felt a string of envy trip his heart and made him choke. Sirius touched his shoulder and asked Remus if he was alright, and Remus closed hi eyes and said 'I'm alright as I'll be.'

During that change he received the tare across his hip.

Fourth year Remus received two chocolates, one from a secret admirer, and one from Lily Evans. For a moment, it wasn't pity chocolate - it was real Valentine's day chocolate. He had blushed and was frozen, and for more then a moment wanted to accept and say yes - say 'Sure!' - but the sound of Sirius voice echoing in his head made him close his eyes and kiss her hand, saying 'I can't...sorry." - and having her understand. She pushed her chocolates back at him when Remus tried to give them back, saying that these chocolates were for him, no madder the answer.

Remus couldn't decide what tasted more bitter - Pity chocolate or Denied valentine chocolate. Pity chocolate was more bitter sweet, but Denied valentine chocolate made his stomach turn. While counting chocolates with Sirius that year, Remus confessed what Lily had done, and Sirius had stared at him and asked 'Why'?

"Why?" Remus asked back, making sure to take the quill off the parchment before he had to start again. Sirius, while popping in another peace of milk chocolate into his mouth (Remus' eyes fallowing that peace of chocolate into his lips), raised his eyebrows.

"Well yeah. You've never had a valentine, have you? I have...what's the number?"

"49."

"-49 this year alone!" Sirius rolled onto his back, his long hair falling over the side of the bed, and Remus wanted to touch him. Dropping his head, Remus found his face flushed and hated himself for it.

"Because I'm waiting."

"For?"

Remus just shook his head and continued marking down names off the cards.

That months change was the first Valentine's change he spent with Prongs, Wormtail, and Padfoot, and almost the enter time Moony spent it curled up with Padfoot under his chin, his nose in his hair.

Fifth year's valentines day was the day after the full moon, and Remus was surprised to wake up with flowers and chocolates at the foot of his bead. Hearts were strung up around his bead, and a sing reading 'We Love You Moony!' above his head.

What caught Remus the most off guard, what made Remus' breath catch, was a small dog - black, with thick fur - with a heart around it's collar. The small dog sat facing him on a box of dark, rich chocolates - his favorites - and the best part was that is smelt like Sirius.

Remus slept with the dog in his arms, thinking that this had to be the best Valentines day he ever had.

Sixth year found Remus and Sirius not talking - well, not really talking - and unlike the year before, Remus received two chocolates. One from Lily - again - behind James' back (They had to be dating by then - They went to Hogsmeade for a Valentines Day date), Peter was off with his current girlfriend, and Sirius...

Remus looked over his book as Sirius cursed for the third time in the past hour, crumpling up his peace of paper and throwing it away, starting again. Remus felt bile rise up in his throat and actually had to leave - hurrying up toward the Astronomy tower - breathing in the night air and lighting up a smoke.

Maybe a hour - a half an hour later - foot steps made Remus open his eyes. Sirius sat stiffly, flipping his lighter open and exhaling smoke. Remus could smell chocolate and perfume and roses wafting off of Sirius body - and underneath all that the raw smell of Sirius. Remus' soul pined, his heard ached, and Remus just wanted to cry and hold him. Wanted to finally leg go of his beaten and threadbare pride and cry and say he forgive Sirius just because he didn't want to be alone.

"It's cold..." Remus choked on Sirius words, the wind cutting through his thin clothes. Remus wanted to touch him.

"Mm." But the would in Remus, the leader of their pack, would not give in - would not let his human heart crumble and give in for such a stupid thing like companionship and love.

"...Moony...look, moony-"

"Sirius, "It was clipped, and Remus felt his heart in his throat but couldn't stop the words. He turned his head away, hoping that he was still man enough to keep his tears tucked away, and shook his head. "don't. If you don't mean it, don't."

There was quiet, and Remus was sure he would cry - there was no moon, the sky bright with stars, not a cloud obscuring the view. Remus wanted to be healed, wanted to be home - where there was constant love and affection, where he could lick his fresh wounds and wallow in his disappear.

It was a light touch at first, then Sirius grabbed him - pulled Remus into his chest, mumbling words into his hair and Remus let himself cry (well tear, he still had his pride...at least, he thought so.) He let himself hold onto Sirius, let himself believe what Sirius was saying was true - that he was sorry and that he never meant to hurt Remus like that.

And Sirius kissed him.

Sirius kissed him and Remus believed. Everything. Everything Sirius had said - every mumbled 'sorry' and wail of 'God Dimmit Remus, forgive me!'. He believed it. He fed on it and let it wrap around him. Let himself be kissed and let Sirius' lips eat at his and let his tears wet their faces.

Later on, when they were laying together, Sirius mumbled "I'm sorry it took me so long."

Remus hugged his black dog tighter, burred his head into Sirius hair, and smiled. "It's alright...I forgive you."

Seventh year, Remus received chocolate from Lily - which in return she received two white roses and a red one - and a box of chocolates from Sirius. A kiss in front of the fire in the common room tasted like chocolate and Sirius and real love. When Lily giggled and said something along the lines 'I'm so jealous of you, Sirius...', Sirius broke their kiss and threw a book in their direction (hitting James instead), pulling Remus closer.

"Sorry Evans, he's my Valentine."

Remus could have done without the words, but they made him smile never the less. Because he remembered when Pity chocolate and Unrequited-love chocolate tasted like, and though he would never forget that taste, the flavor of a real Love chocolate tasted so much better.


End file.
